A day…

Through the mist….

I had been longing, but was not clear what for. When I drove into work a few days ago, I figured out what my soul desired…. a day that matched my mood.

There was something so validating about having the weather so clearly coincide with how I felt. It’s like I’ve been walking around in a fog on a sunny day. Finally, congruency.

I’m not sure why it was so comforting, but seeing this solitary soul with his head hung low somehow made me feel much less alone.

Sunset after a Wonderful Day

There’s nothing like watching a sunset to end a wonderful day. I love the seeing the movement and the many gorgeous colors of the sky. I hope you enjoy the view. 

A Glimpse of Peace

After a stressful day, I went for a short drive and found myself at an overlook with a wonderful view of the sunset over the Konza Prairie. Here are a couple images of peace.

Originality and Value

This poster for Svet caught my eye. Hip Hop Violinist… wow!  I love the contradiction and originality. I am inspired by Svet, and just the sight of his poster inspired me to think through all the ways I share myself with the world…or stop myself from doing so.

One of my biggest barriers to blogging is the fear that I won’t be original in my writings. There are so many fabulous creatives out there, and I often doubt that I have anything new to add. One of the best ways to become a better writer is to read. Yet, I fear that the more I read, the more my “voice” will be changed by what others have written.

I squelched that fear today and read an article on the definition of creativity. Runco and Jaeger (2012) state that, “creativity requires both originality and effectiveness.” That, “originality is vital for creativity but is not sufficient.” That brings to mind another fear of mine that I will write something original, but it won’t even matter. I am from the mindset that if I hit the “publish” button, then I better have written words worthy of reading.

In the aforementioned article, Runco and Jaeger quote Bethune who in 1839 (!) said, “To mingle the useful with the beautiful, is the highest style of art. The one adds grace, the other value.” Such lovely words written so long ago.

Svet is traveling the globe effectively sharing his originality. I sit here writing my little blog, peeking out from behind the computer, hoping I have offered a unique take on things, and aspiring to add grace and value to your day.

3rd Day of August

I’ve been inspired by sky photos I saw recently. I captured this view this morning. I’d like to write more, but it’s late, and I’m tired. Sweet dreams…

Super Freak

There are days when I do not feel like going into work. I’d like to wake up just in time for Good Morning America to start, eat a slow breakfast, spend time my 13-year-old lovely girl, and allow the day to just flow where it may.

This morning it was raining. Wonderful rain! We’ve been in a drought, so the sights, smells, and sounds of the rain were very welcome. It felt like a good day to stay home.

As I drove to work, I had the pleasure of Rick James telling me I’m a Super Freak. I decided the day wouldn’t be all bad.

I was mindful of the way the rain had changed the look of the campus as I made my way to my office. The bark of the trees was dark. The green of the grass was so rich. I loved how the water on the limestone made all of the buildings appear old yet beautiful.

I thought of Mr. James telling me that I’m a very special girl… from my head down to my toenails.

I took a final photo noticing all of the paths initially seeming to lead anywhere, yet actually all taking me to the same place. We create the life we want. We can spend a work day at home, or be happy we have a job to go in to. We can hear Mr. James’ fear of taking us home to his mother, or pay attention to him thinking we’re special. In the end, it may all lead to the same place… just be mindful in your journey, connect to the experience of your life, and let the path take you where it may…. maybe there will be some incense, wine and candles at the end.

Project: August Break 2012

I’m participating in Susannah Conway’s  fun in August… August Break 2012.

I think this will be a great way for me to reconnect to my blog. After I wrote the post, “Chance,” life took a turn. I couldn’t quite find a way to share, so I shut down for awhile. I’m ready to put myself out there again, and this project is a great way to begin!

Here’s a photo from today…. I like the light and hint of blurriness. Life feels disoriented right now, so this picture fits perfectly.

Chance

“An unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.” Accident is from the Latin verb accidere signifying “fall upon, befall, happen, chance.” Chance…somehow that word stands out to me in that long list of syllables which strung together lead to sadness.

I feel like there’s so much back story to tell that you will not truly understand the impact without the history. In as few words as possible…. I was in a serious car accident in high school that changed my life. I had scars, problems with college (after being high school valedictorian), and likely PTSD. I struggled with college at 18, dropped out, returned in my 30’s, obtained a Ph.D. at 40… and so on. Somehow that’s part of this, especially since the 25th anniversary of the high school wreck was exactly one month prior to this recent Chance encounter with the backend of an SUV.

And then there’s the back story of how I have wanted a VW Beetle convertible for oh… years. I was told it was not practical, and I bought into that for a bit. Then, one fateful day, my little LadyBug and I met…. and it was love at first sight. She is a symbol of freedom, passion, perseverance, resilience, and really of me. I engage in frequent convertible therapy as I lovingly refer to my top down, hair blowing, stereo blaring, glorious rides that make me feel alive. It was one of those rides that lead to my recent date with Chance.

I left work about 3 minutes early, and I was a bit giddy. I felt mischievous for sneaking out early.  It was Friday afternoon after a very long week at work. I walked across campus enjoying the sun, strolled through the student union, happened across a very happy former client who was set to graduate and move on to bright things. I was so incredibly happy and keenly aware that I was in the right place at the right time… that by Chance I happened to see the client. It made my day, and the giddiness continued. I smiled as the top went down, cranked up Prince because his Royal Purpleness was the perfect convertible therapy soundtrack for that May day. I saw the bicyclist, watched an old refurbished Chevy pickup truck swerve to avoid him, and then saw a black SUV bumper right in front of me. Next I saw the windshield come closer, then the steering wheel, and then felt a jarring stop. My chest hurt from the tightness of the seatbelt. I felt panic and fear.

And so Chance…. we have met up so many times…. those serendipitous meetings that led to wonderful relationships, the phone call that took me on a wonderful adventure, and the accidents that just really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. I was having a really freaking good moment. I was in the now and happy and alive… and smack.

All things considered, the car doesn’t look too bad. It will take close to $6000 and 3 weeks to fix her, but she will be all bright and shiny. Yet, there’s a part of me that thinks she is tainted now. She isn’t 100% pure joy for me anymore, and yes I am well aware that “she” is inanimate. You know, as I said earlier, she reflects me… a more specific way to explain it is that she is my hippy girl wild side that’s carefree and doesn’t give a rat’s bootay if somebody hears me singing Prince at the top of my lungs with the top down. I guess she is also like me that she is resilient and will bounce back.

You know… we all carry our scars…. some, like me, wear them on my face and body… others, like maybe you, hold them inside. We each have smashed up hoods that we heal as best we can and go on with our day. Maybe we aren’t 100% pure joy, but really why the hell not? A big dent doesn’t make us less happy or whole. Those dents reflect our tough encounters with Chance, and we should be proud that we met up and Chance did not get the best of us.

A Van Morrison Kind of Day

Music has been very important to me for as long as I can remember. I was the girl who made the mix tapes and brought them along on bus trips in middle and high school. I would even venture to say that I provided the soundtrack for my friends’ lives for many years. I continue to create my own soundtrack every day. Sometimes I listen to the radio on my short drive in, but often I pick a song for the morning. Sometimes it’s a hard-rockin’ tune like Blame it on the Boom Boom by Black Stone Cherry when I need to be pumped up, anything by Katy Perry when I need some pop to brighten my day, and sometimes my mood is more melancholy, which leads us to today.

This morning I listened to Tupelo Honey by Van Morrison. The warm, smooth tones of a Van Morrison song fit so nicely with my melancholy mood. It feels like a salve on a wound… healing my soul. Thus, I’ve determined it’s a Van Morrison kind of day. When I get to my office, Into the Mystic and Caravan and all those wonderful tunes will be wafting from my door touching on the lives of others. Maybe it will be a fitting soundtrack for their day too.

What is your mood? Who is singing the soundtrack of your life? Are you alright with that mood, or is it time to switch it up?

And I wanna rock your gypsy soul…